A couple weeks ago, I realized that one of my eyebrow hairs was long. Like really long. Like 3cm plus. Other hairs were long too. What's weird is that as far as I can tell this is the first time I've ever really looked at my eyebrows closely in my entire life.
I'm almost embarrassed to admit this since they are, after all, less than a centimeter from my eyes. Then again, this close proximity both makes it logistically difficult to scope them out and introduces a sense of assumed familiarity.
Then again, perhaps these are just rationalizations and I am just the sort of guy who wouldn't notice a mustache if it were right under my nose.
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He he... Do you know the french novel La Moustache (The Mustache)?
http://www.frontlist.com/detail/0312422334
Since then, I've decided that they are my most useful features. People stare at the wild eyebrow hairs when I talk to them; I can move my head slightly from the left to the right and back again, slowly hypnotizing my subject until they are convinced of whatever it is I am explaining.
My wild eyebrows serve as a warning to my coworkers: I am the pack's Alpha Male - do not challenge me, for I am wiser and stronger than you.
My wild eyebrows serve as a fidget tool, as well: while staring at a tragedy (like the latest changelog from our engineering deparatment) my eyebrows give my roaming fingers something to pull on and manipulate that won't land me in jail or scare my coworkers. Occasionally, a wild will come loose, prompting me to cry out not from the pain, but from the loss of an effective tool naturally produced.
My wild eyebrows scare young children and crows alike, making me an effective fall holiday decoration and agricultural implement.
Every mad scientist needs several wild eyebrows; I'm not there yet, but will soon. And then who will laugh at my eyebrows, eh?